Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
