ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
