dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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