So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
