Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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