your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
