I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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