I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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