Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
