on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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