look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
