Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize