Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
