she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
