Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
