You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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