Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Randomize
