Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
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No more Irish car bombs ever.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
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Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
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