her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
