just come out here and I will go home with you...
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
