I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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