Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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