Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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