It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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