why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
