the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
