Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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