glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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