I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize