I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
