So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
