the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
you never un-have a 4some
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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