I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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