I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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