so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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