just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
two words...techno handjob
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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