She is in my trunk
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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