She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
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I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
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I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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