she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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