So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize