My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Randomize
