What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
