i just wanna soil my oats bro
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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