Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize