After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
