you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
