Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
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I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
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You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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