i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I believe in your delicious
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
