you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize