hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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