I don't think brook has ever known best
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
