bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You ruined the universe
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
