we have pet lesbian snakes
After last night, I could never be a politician.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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