I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
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We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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