Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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