sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
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