Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
