I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
