belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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