With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
