I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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