Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
