why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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