Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
