He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
