Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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