If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
